For those of you who came in late…
After a mission for their twisted benefactor Baba Yaga turned into an Astral Sea battle with Githyanki pirates, the adventurer's known as Max's Minions crashed their hot air balloon onto a lifeless desert world. Their magic dead and unresponsive, the party soon discovered the forgotten tomb of a ruler named King Othan of Caer Elness. Within the King's burial hall were literal tons of treasure, an enchanted Kopesh named "the Law," priceless works of art and historical frescoes, and a series of deadly traps. Inside the dusty Chapel of 12 Gods, they met an impossibly ancient woman. Before she crumbled into ash, she gave the Minions a dire warning. If they do not escape the tomb by midnight, they would be trapped within for the next century.
As they frantically searched the tomb for a way out, the hapless heroes stumbled upon a hidden library. Inside the cavernous vaults were 242 earthen jars, each filled with fragile scrolls that detailed the lost histories of this world. Fussy Psion and team leader Bullock Borneoak hoped that some clue to their salvation might be found in these ancient parchments, plus he obsessed about old knowledge (no matter how useless). They managed to save 168 of the jars, but recent clerical hire Brother Aubrey Neville-Smythe accidentally destroyed the table of contents scroll in the Hidden Library while looking for wine. Luckily the bumbling Cleric was able to find some redemption by deducing the organizational system for the Hidden Library based on his extensive knowledge of religious bureaucracy.
Only one of the Minions, the ambiguously sexy goblin sorceress, Salle LaBeija managed to escape the tomb before time was up. She quickly found herself surrounded by teenage Thri-Kreen in leather jackets riding motorcycles and listening to the Ramones. Their music was aggressive and loud, thundering from a large silver box that one of the Thri-Kreen carried on their insectoid shoulder. The unseen singer tunelessly repeated the phrase, "Beat on the brat. Beat on the brat. Beat on the brat with a baseball bat," to Salle's utter confusion.
The rest of the Minions were trapped below, ostensibly for the next one hundred years. To kill the time, leader & veteran dungeoneer Bullock Bourneoak began translating and reading the history scrolls they had recovered to the rest of his team. These fragmented and disordered stories are... the Minionrillion.
The Age of Creation
Six divine beings awoke on a glowing, vaguely-defined beach. The soft humming sound of static filled the air. The beings somehow knew that they were Rae, the Goddess of the Sun; Coro, the Goddess of the Sea & Storms; Camactli the Beast Lord; Mictlan, the Goddess of Death & Dreaming; Synth, the God of Creation; and Nyx, the God of Destruction. The Godlings also knew that their mother was Gaia, the Earth itself, and they were born aware that their father was the great and powerful sky god Zathra. This universe was to be theirs, to do with as they pleased. The six Godlings also somehow had the knowledge that they had six other siblings, all of whom seemed to be missing. There were 12 Godlings in all, each with authority over a portion of this new world. Each of them was granted the power to channel their divinity, crafting "miracles" to enforce their will upon reality. Each of the newly-born Godlings could be imagined as a color on the color wheel. Their sphere of influence is opposed by the complementary color directly across from them, while the Godling next to them on the color wheel would have a close connection of some type.
Initially Mictlan hid deep in the ground, wrapping herself in a literal Cloak of Shadows. She was wary of her siblings, and ignored their call. She tended to the non-verbal Camactli, helping him shed the caul that he was born in. Deep within the ground Mictlan discovered precious metals, gems, and most importantly she discovered the tiny lights that dwelled within all living things. Mictlan named them, "souls," and she began to covet them. Eventually Camactli's curiosity overcame her fears, and the two strange Godlings joined their brothers and sisters.
The Cloak of Night
This unique artifact was crafted by Mictlan, the Goddess of Death & Dreams, out of the earliest primordial darkness. The wearer of this cloak gains a bonus +3 AC and the ability to cast many shadow-based spells at will including Darkness, Dark Vision, Displacement, Shadow Step, Shadow Tendrils, and Shadow Walk.
Once the newly-born Godlings had found each other, they began to assert control over their new domain. They created the light; the Sun; the oceans (originally named "Gravy"); steam; javelins; night (when Rae collapsed from exertion and fell asleep); the concept of sleep (referred to as "The Quiet"); plants (trees were created exclusively to build boats out of); and most importantly to Rae, Barbecue. Camactli spawned thousands of creatures from his cornucopia-like left arm. Some thrived in this new world, evolving into bold new forms. Others were quickly and ruthlessly devoured, still alive and screaming. Nyx had already invented the concept of pain when he accidentally knocked down the first tree & was crushed beneath it. An emphatic Mictlan created the concept of death to grant mercy to the creatures that they consumed.
The Godlings were not alone in their new world. With a rumbling quake, massive rocks were ripped from the earth and levitated into the air. Gleaming chains erupted from nothingness, linking the floating islands together. Stepping out from the flames were fearsome devils, wrapped in heavy chains and covered in vicious spikes. With no warning, they attacked the Godlings. Rae was furious that they were using HER fire against them. She became even angrier to learn that they were totally immune to her flames. This was the first time that the Godlings had faced challenge or adversity, and they did not like it. Eventually, they triumphed over the devils, but that battle had merely been a test of their abilities. A monstrous Pit Fiend named S’ymm ambushed them, their missing brother Araseth, the God of Art, in chains at his side. S’ymm smoked a foul-smelling cigar and wore a stained white t-shirt that said, "Home of the Whopper" with an arrow pointing down to his crotch. In a heavy Brooklyn-accent, the Pit Fiend told them that he was holding their other siblings hostage to force them to lead him to their missing father Zathra. The sky lord was hiding from the Baatezu somewhere on the prime material plane, and they had better sniff him out or their brothers and sisters would be forged into Xerfilstyx and used as bricks to build a nice courtyard in Maladomini, the 7th layer of Hell. If they even THOUGHT about disobeying S’ymm, then he would come for each of them, and there was no place that they could hide. To prove his threat, a fiery hand burst from the air, grabbed Araseth, and began choking the young god. The Pit Fiend taunted them, “You had better find your daddy before ole uncle S’ymm gets done plucking feathers.”
An angry and disbelieving Michtlan talked back to S’ymm, calling the Pit Fiend's bluff. It was no bluff. Suddenly there was a knife in S'ymm's hand. It had always been there. Even when it wasn't. The twisted and ugly blade hurt to look at, both physically and mentally, but it did much worse than hurt as it effortlessly gutted Araseth. The Godlings stood in silent disbelief as their brother's lifeless body collapsed and Art went out of the world. Camactli casually devoured their brother's body with a hungry slurp.
S’ymm presented his spear, crusted with dried blood on the blade for Camactli to scent. The blood belonged to their father Zathra. S’ymm proudly sneered that he had used this very weapon to backstab their father during the final battle of the Golden Army upon the frozen moon of J’ohl. Using the scent, the god of the hunt would be able to track their father down, where ever he hid.
Once S’ymm had given his orders to the Godlings, smugly referring to himself as "Good Ole Uncle S'ymm, he disappeared into fire. An enraged Nyxx focused his powers and crafted a vessel of vengeance based upon the knife that S’ymm had used to murder their brother, only with a bigger and wickeder blade, created out of his coalesced hate and anger. It hummed and throbbed in Nyx’s hand, ready to destroy. This sword would be the prototype of all future swords in the Prime Material Plane. Its name was "Wrath," it thirsted for violence and vengeance. Coro and Synth felt uncomfortable in the presence of Nix’s new weapon, but they all agreed that S’ymm had to die. Its blade is an ugly, jagged thing that feels heavy and unwieldy in the bearer's hand. The weapon’s hilt is a crafted from a primordial beast’s spine, and its jagged points bite into the wielder's hand. Wrath is an intelligent weapon, with a hostile and aggressive personality. It is a sword that wants to kill, and compels the wielder to seek out bloody vengeance at all costs.
WRATH- The Father of Swords : Wondrous item, unique artifact (requires attunement)
This artifact was crafted by Nyxx, the God of Destruction, out of his rage and hatred.
Weapon-type: Sword, Bastard (Exotic One-Handed) Melee Critical: 19–20/×2
INT: 20 WIS: 24 CHA: 28 Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Communication: This weapon communicates telepathically with its wielder and can speak, read, and understand all languages.
Awareness: 120 ft. Darkvision, blind sense, and hearing
Conflict: Wrath’s function is violently slaying those who have wronged its wielder. It likes its function.
Purpose: Destroyer- The item craves destruction and goads its user to fight arbitrarily.
Blood for Blood: Whenever Wrath is initially drawn, its wielder takes 1d4 damage from the hilt’s jagged points.
Bloodhound: Wrath can locate any creature whose blood it has drawn at 1/day. This ability even works if the targeted creature is on another plane of existence.
Mark of Retribution: The wielder of Wrath can mark an enemy that has wronged them, and swear an oath of hatred against them. All future attacks made against the marked target are made with advantage. Wrath can only have one marked victim at a time and must kill them before they are able to mark another.
No Respite: The wielder of Wrath chooses how their damage is administered to their opponent. They may have their damage take the form of either Slashing, Piercing, Bludgeoning, Radiant, Necrotic, Fire, Ice, Acid, Poison, Concussive force, or Electrical. This tactic ensures that no damage resistance can grant protection from Wrath.
Speed of Vengeance: Wrath can use haste on its owner 3/day. When the spell ends, the target can’t move or take actions until after its next turn, as a wave of lethargy sweeps over it.
Thrall: If a sentient item attempts to take control of its wielder, the wielder must make a Charisma Saving Throw, with a DC equal to 12 + the item’s Charisma modifier. On a failed save, the wielder is Charmed by the item for 1d12 hours. While Charmed, the wielder must try to follow the item’s commands. If the wielder takes damage, it can repeat the Saving Throw, ending the effect on a success. Whether the attempt to control its user succeeds or fails, the item can’t use this power again until the next dawn.
Proficiency with a longsword allows you to add your proficiency bonus to the attack roll for any attack you make with it.
Notes: Bonus: Magic, Charmed, Heavy, Artifact
Camactli led the Godlings across their new and pristine world, following their father's scent. All along their way, the Godlings worked miracles and breathed life into creation. Eventually, their quest brought them to a glade where a stone obelisk stood. It was covered in pictograms, and signed in a bloody handprint. The handprint's scent matched their father's blood. This was a message from Zathra. As the other Godlings argued, Rae rolled her eyes in boredom. Then she noticed Camactli panicking and acting oddly. He whimpered, scratched at the monolith, and then voided his bowels and rolled around in his filth. The air was supernaturally still and felt heavy. The glade was eerily quiet, and none of the beasts spawned from Camactli could be heard. Mictlan petted the beast lord, and sent him to “the Quiet” to calm down as the sky began to turn a dark green.
Rae flew above the tree line to see what was amiss, and noticed a giant flaming rock on a collision course for the planet. While its trajectory was thousands of miles away, the Godlings realized this impending disaster could possibly wipe out all that they had created. They argued about what, if anything, they needed to do. Was this an attack by S’ymm? Could it be the birth of another sibling? Rae simmered with anger. Flaming objects in the sky were HER domain, and she didn’t appreciate being copied. Nyx hypothesized that if they all combined powers and each burned a miracle, they might be able to battle the fiery meteor. Nobody took him up on the suggestion.
Synth was frustrated about the impending loss of his trees, Nyx was excited about the nearing destruction, and Mictlan rubbed her hands together with glee, “All those lights,” she whispered. “All those lights…and they’re all MINE…”
Rae used a miracle and projected her consciousness into the fire of the meteor. She had hoped to steer it away from the earth, but was unable to assert her dominance. However she did discover that she now possessed the ability to transfer herself into any fire. While Rae was unable to redirect the meteor, she did notice it was powered by a magic that seemed diametrically opposed to her own. Something about the blue-colored magic just rubbed her the wrong way. Rae just shrugged and enjoyed the ride, impacting in the middle of a giant forest. A giant chunk of the earth was splintered off from the impact and sent hurtling into space. The collision and resulting shockwave leveled everything as far as the eye could see. The sun god’s consciousness snapped back to her body just seconds ahead of the wall of explosive force. The Godlings took shelter behind their father’s obelisk and hoped or the best.
The magic of the obelisk protected a 20 foot radius circle from devastation. Ash and dust fell like rain, blocking out Rae’s sunlight. This massive cataclysm filled Mictlan with countless lights or souls from the annihilated animal life. None of her siblings seemed to notice. With Mictlan hoarding the lights, new life would not be able to spawn. That could become a serious issue...
Nyx ran out into the destruction, stomping and crunching the ground underfoot. The impact awoke the sleeping Camactli, who once again hid. Synth was the first to notice a shimmering silver woman ghost into the glade. Her static robed form flickered until Synth grounded her to the prime material plane by putting his hands on her shoulders. Her face was calm and resolute, with a blue-glowing patch over her left eye. Wrath, the progenitor of all swords, psychically urged Nyx to attack the figure at first sight. Nyx told it to shut up, but he did feel tempted. Coro was disturbed by Nyx arguing with his weapon, but there was no time to dwell on it.
Rae knew immediately that this woman had been the source of the meteor’s magic. She also knew that she didn’t particularly like her. Coro and Mictlan however both felt an immediate kinship with their sister. Referring to the color wheel of gods, Rae is in direct opposition to her, whereas she is adjacent to both Coro and Mictlan. Taking Synth and Coro’s hands, the silver-robed figure began to speak.
“Siblings, do not fear. All will be well, but we have little time. I am your sister Luna, and we have scant moments until S’ymm discovers this deception. The Fiend from Maladomini has been watching you, and tormenting us with your alleged freedom. We have watched every moment of your search for father. As S’ymm and his devils tortured us, they have also tormented us with the knowledge that you are all doomed. It is his plan to slaughter you all the moment that you have successfully led him to father’s whereabouts. But now… S’ymm believes you all to be dead. Our brother Mask has convinced him that this celestial collision has resulted in your deaths.”
Luna reached into her robes and withdrew six matching amulets. In their center was a glowing sliver of what quickly became apparent was her own left eye.
“These amulets will blind S’ymm eye from you. As long as you wear them, you are invisible to beings from the Nine Hells. I have fashioned them from my own eye, so that I might always be able to see you. S’ymm is far too powerful for you to defeat yourself. You must gather allies. You must build your strength.”
Luna’s Eye (AKA: Improved Amulet of Proof against Infernal Detection and Location)
This silver amulet is crafted from the left eye of Luna, the goddess of magic & the moon, and protects the wearer from scrying and magical location just as a non-detection spell does.
If a divination spell is attempted against the wearer by a resident of the lower planes, the infernal caster of that divination must succeed on a caster level check (1d20 + caster level) against a DC of 40 (as if the caster had cast non-detection on herself ). While it is possible for an infernal creature to physically see somebody wearing this amulet, they are blurry and difficult to perceive. The wearer has Advantage on any attempt at Stealth against an infernal creature. Likewise all infernal creatures have a penalty of -2 to hit them with non-area of effect attacks. Only 6 of these particular amulets exist, and they were originally given as gifts to the Godlings Synth, Nyxx, Rae, Coro, Mictlan, & Camactli
Artifact, unique items (requires attunement)
Luna pointed towards the heavens, “A piece of mother now orbits the Earth. I have warded it against S’ymm. You may use it as your own until I am freed from Maladomini. Please, save us. This gambit has cost us all that we have to give, but we would pay any price to stop S’ymm and reclaim our birthright.” Luna touched Michtlan’s forehead with a sparkling finger.
"Mictlan, a great leviathan slumbers in Coro’s ocean. He is the first of Camactli’s spawn, grown strong and ferocious. He sleeps in your quiet realm. If you enter his dreams, you may bend his will to yours and use him as a weapon against S’ymm. I know not how long we can occupy S’ymm’s attention. Sooner or later he will hatch another scheme to find father and the regalia that he possesses. Time has, until now, been an abstract concept. Each day like the one that came before it. Not anymore. Now there is a before the moon and after it was hung in the heavens. That means that we no longer have a carefree eternity, but a finite amount of days.”
The Goddess of the Moon reached out a hand to gather falling ash. Letting it fall between her fingers, she continued, “Just like this ash, our time shall soon run out.”
The gathered Godlings questioned Luna, pushing her for as many additional details as they could. Rae was concerned that they couldn’t trust her. Even if she was being upfront with them, she was allied with Mask, the god of deception. For all they knew, Mask was selling them out to S’ymm. Coro insisted that Luna and Mask were both family, and should be trusted implicitly. Synth learned that S’ymm and father had once fought side by side against a horrific threat, but Luna did not have the time to give him more details. The moon goddess told her siblings that her time on this plane was at an end. She had to return to her imprisonment and torture in hell so as to not tip their hand to S’ymm. As her image flickered out of existence she said, “I love you. We all love you. You’re our only hope now.”
The Godlings discussed what their next action would be. Now that S’ymm couldn’t see them, maybe they could seek out father? Perhaps they should find a way into the heavens to explore their new orbiting headquarters, the moon. Synth decided to leave a message for father, writing pictographs in his own blood on the side of the obelisk. The god of creation inadvertently created the concept of religious iconography by depicting images of himself and his siblings. Meanwhile, Mictlan starred off into nothingness singing quietly to herself, “I’m gonna find you little fishy. I’m gonna find your light…”
After locating the dreaming spirit of the Leviathan, Mictlan expended a miracle for the ability to enter dreams and drew everybody inside. The Godlings swam through a dark void that resembled the deep waters the Leviathan dwells in. Nyx gleefully commented how if they were in the real ocean, the intense pressures would crush them. Rae’s light illuminated their immediate area, but they were all painfully aware of unearthly things watching them from the darkness. Rae told Coro that her domain sucked.
Deep in a bottomless trench the Leviathan slumbered. Coro was immediately taken with it, loving it like her own baby. Their stealth attempt failed, and the Leviathan awoke. Lurching suddenly, the Leviathan knocked several of the Godlings prone. With a single chomp, it bit Rae and nearly swallowed her whole. Luckily her fiery body annoyed it long enough for Coro to grab it by the horns and assert her dominance. Camactli’s fight or flight instincts kicked in, and it attacked the Leviathan to little effect. Rae managed to free her bestial brother and Coro utilized a miracle to finish taming the monster. The Godlings named the Leviathan “Chompy.” He was now the first weapon in their secret arsenal against S’ymm. Coro could now summon Chompy anywhere reachable by the ocean, but he is incapable to traveling by land. When the Godlings awoke from the Leviathan’s dream, they noticed that Camactli had laid an egg.
In the aftermath of the creation of the moon, faking of their death, and the taming of the Leviathan, the Godlings were unsure of their next action. They were all interested in exploring the moon, but couldn’t agree on how to get there. Camactli had laid a massive egg, and currently warmed it while his cornucopia arm continued to spew forth odd life forms. To keep his egg warm, Camactli sloughed off a portion of his body in the form of a furry octopus to serve as a nanny. A dozen small lizards gathered around Rae, sunning themselves in her presence. These creatures were transparent-skinned, with independently-moving eyes and two tongues, and they loved Rae (and her warmth) unconditionally. The Amulets of Protection provided by their sister Luna cloak them from infernal perception, but they were no closer to finding their father or defeating S'ymm.
Camactli’s supernaturally sharp senses noticed a scent arriving that was similar to, but unique from the pit fiend S’ymm. As the ground began to rumble, Nyxx sensed impending destruction on a global scale. He was excited. Unlike the Godlings, or the life spawned by them, the incoming threats had no lights (souls) for Mictlan to sense. That realization caused her to use her Cloak of Darkness to hide in the shadows. Synth panicked and rushed around the glade, attempting to protect the monolith.
Rae took to the air and looked to see what was happening. Miles away from the monolith, near the massive crater, the ground was beginning to bubble and boil. Surrounding the crater, five massive, molten spires burst from the ground. The sun goddess disappeared from the group, projecting herself into the column of fire. She noticed that the columns were evenly spaced, making a circle around the huge canyon.
Filing out from the flames were 10 gnarled and bony figures, covered in barbed hooks, marching in a precise column. The Baatezu fanned out and began investigating the crater, clearly looking for something. That something was obviously some sign of the Godlings, currently believed to be dead. 4 bearded devils carried a litter, atop of which sat a huge and bloated Horned Devil with a massive tail and long horns protruding from the sides of his head. He was Mordir the Glutton, and he wielded a giant pitchfork that smoldered with white heat as he directed the investigation.
Wrath, Nyxx’s primordial sword, demanded that Nyxx attack the Devils and gain a measure of revenge for their murdered brother, Araseth the god of art. Nyxx screamed and argued with his sword, while Coro attempted to calm him down. Unable to win the argument, Nyxx just made the sword disappear. Camactli struck out on his own again. He abandoned his egg, slumping his protean form into an airborne jellyfish, and began drifting upwards to the moon. As he flew, Camactli spawned three unique creatures. The first was a flying narwhal that swam through the air as if it were in one of Coro’s seas. Second was a peaceful and gentle snake with feathered wings. In spite of its horrific jaws, it is a vegetarian; living mostly on mold spores. Lastly was a giant airborne seahorse with a butterfly-like tongue and a massive internal pouch that is large enough to accommodate passengers. Synth began growing trees in a cluster around the monolith, hoping to hide it from the approaching devils.
Rae returned to the group and let them know what she had seen. Although Nyxx thought the odds were in their favor against the devils, Coro was adamant that they flee. Synth was shocked to see that the rest of the group had “let” Camactli leave on his own, without him giving permission. The frustrated god of creation tried to brainstorm a route to the moon, hypothesizing that he could stack trees end over end and climb them into space, or maybe tilt the trees at an angle so they could walk to the moon. It would be just like walking up a hill. None of his siblings were interested in Synth’s ideas. Rae discovered that she could ride on a sunbeam and travel to the moon. Nyxx remembered the destructive lightning bolt that he had created and gifted to Coro, and decided to travel to the moon upon one of those. Wary of the inherent destruction involved, Coro grabbed Synth and asked Mictlan to shadow-walk them to the moon. Mictlan agreed, but told them both to keep your eyes closed, “so THEY won’t be able to climb inside.” Already regretting her decision, Coro closed her eyes and clamped hands over Synth’s eyes and mouth. They were repulsed at the feeling of warm breath in their hair and fingers softly caressing their face.
Rae landed in a painted valley full of massive stone outcroppings, above a massive canyon. She saw Camactli coming, and invented waving to call him towards her. Mictlan, Coro, and Synth appeared in the black shadows of the canyon, and then quickly made their way towards Rae’s glowing light. Upon landing, Camactli immediately spawned a “re-entry turtle” that could safely bear the Godlings back to earth inside its hermit crab-like shell.
The force of Nyxx’s lightning bolt obliterated the clearing, but left the monolith intact. His aim was true, but barely, and Nyxx was able to ride the lightning bolt directly to the moon. The impact on the moon let a massive crater and fused the ground to glass. Everybody was enthralled by the new material, and Synth began making plans to utilize it immediately. He noticed that if he placed his hand under the glass, it was magnified and seemed closer. That discovery would make it much easier to look down on the earth and see what was transpiring with the devils.
The Godlings used Synth's looking glass to safely gaze back down to the earth and watch as the carnage unfolded. The sky above the Baatezu warped and buckled, and then a series of air-blisters ruptured. Acidic puss sprayed down, burning an area of effect of 50’ with 6D6 Acid Damage. Then, horrific nightmare creatures scuttled out of the blisters and attacked anything that moved. These are the demons known as the Tanar'ri. This troupe was led by the Balor named the Ellerak the Schizoid King, his lieutenant the Marilith known as Lady Hiss, and her five Hezrous minions. They were clearly also hunting the Godlings, with the hope of enslaving them as weapons against their Baatezu rivals. The battle was swift and brutal, and the deranged Tanar'ri swarmed over the Baatezu. The Godlings watched in fascinated horror as Mordir the Glutton was psychically compelled to disembowel himself by the Schizoid King. The orderly Devils were impaled upon their own spears and left to die, screaming into the uncaring heavens.
The Baatezu snagged the edges of their ruptured entrance portals with heavy chained hooks, and began stretching them open wider. Fire, smoke, screams, and blood spilled out of the gashes in reality, as they began to fashion the holes into more permanent gates. Camactli decided suddenly (and quite on his own) to leave the safety of the moon and return to earth. He would not seek out Father though, but instead would find where Mother Gaia slept and seek her aid, spawning more life along the way. The rest of the Godlings were too busy arguing to notice the beast lord's absence. They were so busy arguing that they failed to hear the approach of a dozen giant figures, roughly hewn from moon rock.
Bullock Bourneoak reached for the next fragile parchment, but couldn’t find it. “Blah, blah, blah! Buncha gods we never heard of being idiots to each other,” complained Stasi. “I so don’t care about any of this god-crap.”
“Don’t be such a fool,” shouted an excited Brother Aubrey. “Are you really so mutton-headed a buffoon that you don’t realize what this is?”
“It’s a bedtime story, “said Dog the Ranger. He was quite sleepy already, and had nodded off several times over the last few scrolls.
With a disgusted sigh Brother Aubrey lectured the slow-witted Ranger. “No! Well... technically yes, but it’s so much more than a simple story. These scrolls could very well tell the story of the earliest battles of the Blood War itself!” The rest of Max’s Minions stared blankly at the ranting Cleric. Brother Aubrey sputtered, “The Blood War? The never-ending conflict between the forces of law and chaos that have raged across the planes since the dawn of recorded history? You have to have heard of it!”
“Oh, you mean THAT Blood War,” responded a lying Bullock Bourneoak. “Of course I’ve heard of the Blood War. What do you think we are, a buncha rubes? It’s one of our favorite wars!”
“I’m bored Bullock,” whined Dog. “Just jump ahead to the next scroll you can find. We can figure it out from there.”
With that, a sheepish Bullock Bourneoak continued the story of the Minionrillion...
Enough dang flavor text, what are the mechanics?
Each Age of the Minionrillion is defined by 5 rules, or Commandments, that make it unique. They are provided as a role-playing tool to make the different eras of the game stand out from each other, and players are encouraged to adjust their character’s actions to best serve them. Any time that a player manages to successfully perform an action that fulfills one of that ages’ Commandments, they gain a bonus +100 Experience Points. A player may choose to invoke a Commandment at any time that it would be advantageous to them. To invoke a Commandment the player must first ask the Dungeon Master if it is applicable, and then roll 1d20 with a target number of 15. Characters gain +1 on this roll for every 5 levels of experience. The Dungeon Master may also choose to compel the effects of a Commandment. While the player may choose to refuse the Dungeon Master’s compel and avoid the results, players accepting their compel will gain a bonus +200 Experience Points.
The Age of Creation: The Gods squabble amongst each other whilst forging all of creation
Commandment 1. The world is yours.
Commandment 2. Stories have power.
Commandment 3. Vengeance must be swift and brutal.
Commandment 4. Family is an unbreakable bond.
Commandment 5. Everyone must choose a side.
The Age of Tooth and Claw: The earliest races stride the earth
Commandment 1. Your blood is cold.
Commandment 2. The weak must be culled
Commandment 3. There is only predator and prey.
Commandment 4. It shall all be forgotten.
Commandment 5. The Blood War rages on.
The Age of Empires: The nations of Elves and Dwarves rise and fall
Commandment 1. The covenant of races is unbreakable.
Commandment 2. Mortals challenge the gods themselves.
Commandment 3.The world is full of wonders.
Commandment 4. Life and death is a never-ending circle.
Commandment 5. The goblin races are forever the enemy.
The Age of Blood: The new race of Man throws off their chains as the world plunges into darkness.
Commandment 1. You are a soulless savage.
Commandment 2. All of history is lost.
Commandment 3. The world is a harsh nurse for man.
Commandment 4. Might makes right.
Commandment 5. The covenant of races is broken.
The Age of Man: The kingdoms of man are pawns in the eternal divine war between Law & Chaos.
Commandment 1. Forgotten history returns.
Commandment 2. Man rules the world.
Commandment 3. Magic must be tamed.
Commandment 4. Life and death is a never-ending circle.
Commandment 5. Everyone must choose a side.
The world before:
Ages ago there was a universe that existed before our current one. In the cosmic battle between the forces of Law & Chaos, the Great Old ones personified the forces of entropy and destruction. They tore through the old universe laying waste to entire worlds. Standing against them, assembled from across the crystal spheres, was a legendary team of heroes called the Golden Army. Numbering 100 of the most elite warriors of their age, the Golden Army was led by the Sorcerer-King Zathra of Mithram. Traveling across the planes of existence, he had managed to unify all three sets of artifacts called the Regalia of Might. The Golden Army drew a line upon the frozen moon of J’ohl. Utilizing the Crown, Orb, and Scepter of Law, Chaos, and Neutrality, the Golden Army attempted to destroy the Great Old Ones for all time. They failed.
When Zathra attempted to unify all three sets of the Regalia, there was a horrific explosion. The Neutral Regalia were consumed in black fire, unleashing a hail of Spheres of Annihilation that utterly destroyed anything that they rained down upon. The destruction of the Regalia of Neutrality ensured that the universe would forever be contested by the forces of Law & Chaos. The Great Old Ones burrowed deep into the J’Ohlian glaciers for protection. Zathra knew that this would be his only chance, so he performed a blasphemous act of wizardry. Many of the Golden Army had already been slain in combat with the Great Old Ones. They were the lucky ones. Zathra imprisoned the Great Old Ones deep under the J’Ohlian ice, but the remnants of the Golden Army found themselves corrupted by the dark magics that Zathra had summoned, and reality itself was torn asunder. Zathra found himself ascended to godhood, empowered by the defeat of the Great Old Ones and the sacrifice of his allies.
The now twisted and corrupted survivors of the Golden Army turned upon themselves and descended into violent schism. The iron-fisted Asmodeus wished to dominate the Great Old Ones and take their power for himself. Vengeful Abraxas sought only to slaughter their enemies. Their warfare raged on for centuries, becoming known by its combatants as the “Blood War.” With neither the forces of Law or Chaos possessing their Regalia of might, they are in a perpetual stalemate. As the Golden Army made war with itself, its former leader alone was uncorrupted.
Zathra's brother S'Ymm had been his chief lieutenant in the Golden Army. Now twisted into a monstrous Pit Fiend, S'Ymm tricked Zathra into an ambush under the guise of parlay. S'Ymm backstabbed his brother, but was unable to overcome the combined power of the Regalia of Law & Chaos. The Fiend's dagger was marked by the now divine blood of Zathra, warping and metastasizing into the 5th Dimensional Knife that he carries to this day. Grievously wounded and fearing for his life, Zathra took the remaining Regalia of Law & Chaos and fled. He knew that the Great Old Ones’ makeshift interstellar prison would eventually fail, and there would be no stopping them by himself. His former allies gave chase, hoping to seize the Regalia and tip the balance of their in-fighting.
Zathra ran from his universe and fled to one newly formed from their cosmic battle. Once there he sought refuge with the young Earth Goddess Gaia. Zathra sired a new generation of gods to slay the demons and devils who sought his death. Once his children were born, Zathra disappeared into hiding, deep inside of Gaia in a cavern later known as the World Womb. It was there that he hid the remaining sets of Regalia, using much of his godly might to conceal them from the Tanar’ri & Baatezu.
Michtlan horded souls
Camactli sought out Gia, abandoning his siblings and their quest.
Five of the Godlings are still imprisoned in Maladomini, the 7th layer of Hell.
Ellerak the Schizoid King has established an open portal to the Abyss & have terraformed part of the planet to serve their needs.
Synth, Nyx, Rae, Coro, & Michtlan are barricaded on the moon, S'ymm believes them to be dead.
Zathra the sky god is still in hiding.
Araseth the god of art was killed and eaten, his absence will have repercussions.
Tanar'ri (Demon Lords)
Abraxas the Unfathomable (Magic words, arcane secrets, talismans)
Seraci the Queen of Madness (Insanity)
Ariamael the Queen of Knives (Murder)
Baphomet the Prince of Beasts (Savagery)
Barbu the Unwelcome (Discord, ruined peace)
Dagon the Dweller in the Deep (Creatures of the deep aquatic)
Gurza the Butcher (Torture, bloodletting)
Lolth the Spider Queen (Spiders, torture, & slavery)
Malaeka the Queen of the Succubi (Corruption)
Orcus the Prince of the Undead (Undead, Abyssal ascension, escape from death)
Yog the Emperor Lizard (Lizardfolk and serpents)
Tsueh’ka the Ravenous (Hunger, consumption)
Baatezu (Arch Devils)
Bel the Warlord: The Lord of Avernus, the First layer of the Nine Hells
Dispater the Iron Duke: The Lord of the Dis, the Second layer of the Nine Hells
Mammon the Viscount: The Lord of Minauros, the Third layer of the Nine Hells
Belial and Fierna: The Twin Lords of Phlegethos, the Fourth layer of the Nine Hells
Levistus: The Lord of Stygia, the Fifth layer of the Nine Hells
Glasya: The Lord of Malbolge, the Sixth layer of the Nine Hells
Baalzebul: Lord of Flies, The Lord of Maladomini, and the Seventh layer of the Nine Hells
Mephistopheles: The Lord of the Cania, the Eighth layer of the Nine Hells
Asmodeus: The Lord of the Nessus, the Ninth layer of the Nine Hells
Synth- The God of Creation (Tolerates his brother Nyx, easily frustrated)
Coro- The Goddess of Storms & Seas (Proud mother of sea and airborne life, nurturing, but with a temper)
Luna the Goddess of Magic & the Moon (quiet, secretive, watches others longingly)
Mictlan the Goddess of Death & Dreams (creepy and off-puttingly cute)
Mask- The God of Deception (Friendly, out-going, misleads people while telling the truth)
Maeock- The God of War (Young, child-like, aggressive)
Nyx- The God of Destruction (Loves his brother Synth, fascinated by chaos, forged the first sword)
Shaul- The Goddess of the Harvest (mature, sensible, nurturing, loves mother)
Rae- The Goddess of the Sun & Fire (Brash and egotistical, enjoys offerings of smoked meats from her worshipers)
Ilra- The Goddess of Prophecy (dissociated with others, weird, intense)
Araseth- The God of Art (flamboyant, bi-polar, gender fluid, killed by S'ymm and consumed by Camactli)
Camactli- The God of The Hunt (Horned and one-eyed, life spawns from his cornucopia arm)